Literary Lawlz

I seem to have fallen into an unintentional pattern with my most recent reading material, but you will NOT hear me complaining…you’ll just hear me laughing obnoxiously from an otherwise silent room at these ridiculously well-written and hilarious memoirs. I recommend all three, and we all know you want an excuse to go on Amazon and say to yourself or someone who monitors your spending habits, “well it would be irresponsible NOT to buy enough stuff to qualify for FREE Super Saver Shipping!”…the links, my dearest literate shopaholics -xoxo

♥   I Was Told There’d Be Cake - Sloan Crosley

♥   Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim - David Sedaris

♥   The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid - Bill Bryson

In a Perfect Holiday World…

…I would be blessed with friends and family who deeply understand me, and would totally get why these weird and wonderfully random things are what I ACTUALLY want for Christmas! *sigh* 

1. Pantone Christmas Balls - Studio Badini Createam for Seletti

I dream in Pantone…VIVA L’ITALIA! 

 

2. Miike Snow Jackalope XMas Jumper

Why I didn’t go with my gut and get this before it sold out in half a day, I’LL NEVER KNOW :( Fail fail fail fail fail.






3.  I would say for the past two years, every holiday and every birthday I’ve put “tambourine” on my list…yes I wanna dance around my room with it, yes I wanna duct tape it to my foot when I tap ‘em to the beat, and yes I REALLY wanna bring it in the car with me and be the girl shaking it around on my 1.5 hr commute every day. SO SUE ME!


 

Letters from the Enemy

Not sure if I’m behind the curve on this one, but I TOTALLY didn’t think about this issue until I heard this story from a coworker…

The long and sort of it goes: her 21 year old son had a psychotic girlfriend, on again/ off again for a very long time…demanding, obsessive, unstable, all that good stuff…after months and months of attempts, he finally escapes her grasp. She loses her few remaining marbles and goes SO insane from the official breakup that he has to take out a RESTRAINING ORDER against her! 

Anywho, time passes happily in his new carefree existence. One night, he’s up late playing the beloved Words with Friends game…checks his phone at one point and finds a message from a new wannabe-opponent. Who could it be?

OH YES, it’s the nut-job ex, bombarding him with classic lines such as “DID YOU BREAK UP WITH ME BECAUSE I CAN’T FIX MYSELF?” whoaaaa Sally Stalker!

Moral of the story: even playing an unsuspecting Scrabble app on your smart phone leaves the door open for ANYONE to find you at ANY time! You are never alone, beware! Such is the world we live in…